The Weirdest Week Ever
by Playmymusic323
Summary: Livy Marsh is just your average fifth grade student at South Park Elementary. But what happens when she starts to like someone? What happens when her sworn enemy discovers her weakness? What happens when it’s time for the fifth grade dance? OCs needed!
1. Stupid Monday

I was not happy. This morning, my alarm woke me up in the middle of the best dream I ever had: Cartman was moving to Mongolia to live among a group of nomads. He had promptly been ordered to do so after the government decided that he was a threat to national security and minorities everywhere. Ah, if only this actually happened! Cartman and I have been sworn enemies ever since he stuck some worms in my sandwich when we were five and, in response, I kicked him in the balls and gave him a wedgie in front of the entire school. If he moved, my life would be perfect… well, almost.

I rolled out of bed, sad that my blissful dream wasn't a reality, and began to get ready for another day at South Park Elementary. I put on a bright pink sweater, purple skirt, and a blue scarf with matching gloves. Then, I looked at my reflection in the mirror as I combed my wavy auburn hair back into a headband. I'm not the prettiest girl at school, but I'm up there. It's not like it matters though. I'm too good at football and video games to even be considered as "girlfriend material" by any boy in my grade. Oh well, I guess that's the price I have to pay for being so badass.

"Livy, where's Dad?" My six-year-old brother, Will, was standing in the doorway with his best friend, Ike Broflovski. My brother's a pain in the ass, but Ike's absolutely precious. So I tried my best not to sound annoyed as I replied.

"I never know where he is. He may not even be home, wasn't he out with Uncle Randy last night?" Uncle Randy and my dad are twins, identical twins to be more specific and, when they go on one of their "brother bonding bonanzas" the whole town, especially my mom and Aunt Sharron, cower in fear.

My brother nodded in recognition as Ike suddenly spoke up. "Are young going to walk us to the bus stop?" He said faintly. Aw! He is absolutely adorable! Now, if only his brother was as agreeable as he is…

"Of course I will! Now why don't you guys go downstairs and eat something so we can go." The boys left my room and headed down the stairs as I finished combing my hair. I grabbed my navy blue backpack, put my headphones in, and put my iPod on shuffle as I walked after the two boys.

"Good morning, honey." My mom said as I walked into the kitchen. I turned down my music so I could hear her clearly. She was feeding my baby brother, Tyler, some disgusting looking mushy carrots. I cringed as I grabbed a strawberry poptart and headed towards to door.

"It's only Monday you two. Let's get to the bus stop 'cause I am NOT walking all the way to school in all this snow!" My brother and Ike grabbed their bags and headed towards me. But my mom stopped us as we headed into the freezing cold Colorado snow.

"Wait a second, Olivia!" God, I hate it when people call me by my real name. "Can you give your cousin this note to give to your Aunt Sharon? Your dad called me this morning, apparently he and Uncle Randy are in North Dakota, heaven knows why… I just want to make sure she knows." I nodded as I took the note out of her hand.

"Besides," she said smiling, "this gives you an excuse to go up and talk to that cute, little Broflovski boy."

"Mom! I DO NOT have a crush on Kyle Broflovski!" I screamed. She smirked, turned away to feed Tyler, and then replied:

"I never said you did, dear." Oh, God damn it!

I walked out the door with Ike and my brother trailing close behind. I do not like Kyle, I thought to myself. God no! He's my friend, he's Ike's brother, and he's my cousin's best friend, nothing more. I mean, shit! Kenny's way cuter than Kyle. So it Token and Clyde… ok, maybe not Clyde. As I walked further and further away from my house, I saw the four boys in their usual places at the bus stop in the distance. Little did I know this was the week that was going to change my life forever.


	2. Author's Note

Hello!

I just wanted to write a quick note before I continue with/update the story. The more people review it, the faster I'll write it, I promise. This is my first fanfic and I'm still learning how to upload, edit, etc. So, please be patient with me! I really do need OCs! (Livy sort of needs some friends!) So please send them to me ASAP so I can work them in.

Side Note: What's going to happen in this story is based off of, well, my life. The events of this story are going to be very similar to the events around the time of my first co-ed dance when I was 11. Now don't think to yourself "Ew, I bet this is going to suck if it actually happened." NOT TRUE. This week is legendary in the eyes of me, my closest friends, and my own personal Kyle (my boyfriend of quite a few years now). We still get teased about it to this day. Oh, and we're still banned from our town's Smoothie King… you'll find out what I mean if you keep reading! Thanks!


	3. JewFrodo

"It's the Liv-sta" Kyle said with a smirk as I approached the bus stop where the four boys were standing.

"Jew-Frodo, is that you?" I said, holding back a smile. I had just thought of the clever nickname the week before and couldn't stop using it. He deserved it. After all, he'd been calling me Liv-sta since before I can remember. "I'm surprised you're here. Shouldn't you be making out with your girlfriend right now?" Kyle wrinkled his nose and quickly quipped back:

"Nikki's not my fucking girlfriend!" He was red now. Nikki had liked Kyle for a few years now. She was inconsolable the night he decided to bring that home-schooled hooker to the school dance. I remember comforting her in the bathroom and, after the fact, we became friends. However it wasn't until after we discovered out mutual hatred of Cartman that, well, we became best friends.

"Let it go, Livy." Stan said, intervening as quickly as he could. He let me and Cartman fight all we wanted, I guess he just didn't want me and Kyle to push things too far, to _really_ begin to hate each other. Stan's a great kid, always has been. I quickly turned to him, remembering my current assignment.

"My mom gave me this," I said, holding the note out to him. "It's for Aunt Sharon."

Stan raised his eyebrows as he took the paper from my hands. "Do you know where they are?" He asked, bracing himself for the news.

"North Dakota," I replied.

"Oh my God, could they just… be…um… NORMAL!?" He yelled, throwing his hat on the ground, Kenny was mumbling about something in the background. Hmm, wasn't he killed by a falling billboard yesterday….never mind.

"Haha! You guys have fucked up dads! Sucks for you..." Cartman snickered as he polished off the Poptart he must have taken out of my hand while I wasn't paying attention.

"At we have dads… No, wait; at least our dads aren't our moms!" God, I hate this kid. "And when the hell did you steal my breakfast, fat ass!?" I was ready to attack when Kyle grabbed me by the arm. Since when did Kyle _touch_ me? I thought. Shivers ran up and down my arms and legs and I felt a little sick. Yuck, I bet he has germs.

"It's not worth it," he said, still holding onto my arm. "Besides, our brothers have kind of been standing here the whole time." I look over and there the two of them were, silently observing. Whoops. "The last thing either of us needs is to be ratted out for cussing and fighting the Fat Ass. Here, eat my bagel."

"Is it kosher?" Cartman said, as the bus pulled up in front of us and Kyle had no time to strike back. We all boarded the bus, dreading the long, androgynous week ahead. As we rode off, however, I only had one thing on my mind 'Ew,' I thought to myself, 'I can't believe Kyle touched me.'

* * *

**Well, that's it. I was out all day today and didn't have much time to write. I just wanted to get them to school so I could set the plot in motion. I know I have a lot of OCs to use, and I will use them all. In fact, most of them will be introduced when the kids get to school in the next chapter. I only introduced Nikki because she was the first OC submitted who had Kyle listed under crush and I needed someone like that for the plot. I PROMISE the next chapter will be a million times longer. Thanks for reading and please review! **


	4. Girl Talk

"Hey you guys!" Nikki said, as she saw the five of us getting off of the bus. She was standing with a group of a few girls from our class: Sonia, Vivi, Kayley, Wendy, and Bebe. Oh joy, I thought to myself sarcastically, it's time for girl talk.

"Hi Kyle," Nikki said as the five of us approached.

"Hey," He casually replied, but he wasn't really paying attention to her. Instead, he was concentrated on stealing my iPod from my pocket. "Got it!" He said, as he moved behind Stan and Kenny, trying to avoid my wrath.

"What the hell!? Could you just leave me alone for once?" I said, pushing Kenny to the side and into the street where, within seconds, he was hit by a passing car.

"Oh my God, they killed Kenny!" Stan said, staring at the limp body in the street.

"You bastards," Kyle yelled, shaking his fist. Poor Kenny, I thought, frowning. Wait, Kyle still has my iPod, God damn it!

"Give it back!" I yelled running towards him at full force. But he didn't move. He was taller than me, and all he had to do to do was hold my iPod above his head to keep me from taking it back.

"Chill out, Liv! I'll return it at recess! I just want to listen to it!" I stopped grabbing at it, and he slowly lowered the iPod back down and put the headphones on. "Thanks, Liv-sta." I frowned, but backed off. He never lied to me before, and this wasn't the first time he stole my iPod just to "listen" to it. We had very similar tastes in music.

"Come on you guys, we don't want to listen to their prissy, sunshine, vagina girl talk. Let's get out of here." Cartman said, moving down the walkway towards the school's entrance.

"Fuck you, Cartman!" Sonia said, scowling at him as he walked towards the school.

"See you guys in class. Bye Wendy," Stan said, turning to follow Cartman into the school.

"Bye Stan!" She replied as Bebe, Kayley, and Vivi giggled at the awkward yet adorable couple.

"BYE KYLE!" I yelled, so that he could hear me over the extremely loud music he was listening to, I was standing a good three feet from him and I could still hear every word. 'Just because I'm losing, doesn't mean I'm lost…' He was listening to "Lost!" by Coldplay, one of my all-time favorite songs. He's got good taste.

"Oh," he said, looking around only to discover his friends had already walked away. "Bye." And without hesitation, he ran off towards the schools entrance after Cartman and Stan.

"Well, now that they're all gone, we can talk!!!" Vivi said in her unmistakable French accent. Everything sounded good when she said it. However, even her nice accent couldn't keep me from gagging when my least favorite topic was at hand: girl talk.

"Oh, please, Livy!" Bebe moaned. "This is important!" I must have actually gagged when Vivi said those words. Oops, my bad

"Yeah, this Friday is the fifth grade dance!" Kayley squealed, obviously excited for the event. I like Kayley a lot. She's super sweet and funny. I was really surprised when I found out that she was, in fact, Kyle's sister. They aren't all that much alike personality wise. There'd been some sort of mix up, and she was raised by a couple half-way across the country, but she'd been living with the Broflovski's for a little over a year now and things seemed to be going well.

"Did anyone ask you guys yet?" Wendy asked with a smirk, I envied her. She had a steady boyfriend and there was no question in my mind who she was going with. She had it easy.

"Butters asked me…" Nikki mumbled under her breath, the rest of us burst out laughing.

"Obviously! What did you think he was going to do? He's obsessed with you!" I was grinning from ear to ear. Even though boys weren't really that into me, at least Butters didn't follow me around like a love sick puppy. I wouldn't know what to do if he did.

"Well, I'm going with Tweak!" Vivi squealed with delight. We all congratulated her. They'd liked each other for awhile and it was about time one of them built up enough courage to do something about it.

"Do you know who I think is going to ask you, Livy?" Sonia said, with a wide grin on her face.

"No..." I replied cautiously.

"KYLE!" She screamed. Everyone one except Nikki burst out laughing.

"It's sooo true!" Bebe said, still laughing.

"Oh my God, he's like totally and completely in LOVE with you." Vivi said, wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes.

"Ew, you guys! That's not true at all!" I yelled back, my face was bright red, and my hands were shaking ever so slightly.

"As his sister, I must agree. He wants you, he wants you BAD." Kayley said, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"I don't get it." I said, glaring at the other girls.

"Oh, please! He's always talking to you, taking your stuff, calling you by that stupid nickname… plus, he stares at you nonstop." Wendy said, scribbling something on a pad of paper and handing it off to Bebe. Bebe laughed and put it in her pocket. I didn't want to ask about it. It was probably just a love note to Stan or something.

"Where's Nikki?" Vivi asked, looking around the school yard. Oh fuck, I thought to myself, this is just great!

"You guys! You know Nikki likes Kyle! Now you've got her upset!" I moaned, I really didn't want to comfort her in the bathroom again, and I especially didn't want to talk about Kyle anymore today. Wendy frowned, and shrugged her shoulders.

"She's too pretty to waste her time with Kyle," Wendy said. Kayley frowned, they were siblings after all, and they had practically the same complexion and facial features. Wendy quickly came to her own defense.

"Gah! That isn't what I meant. Kyle's really cute! But so is Nikki, and it's not like there aren't other boys who'd want to go out with her besides Butters." All the girls nodded in agreement.

"True, I just wish she'd realize that" I replied, still red and shaken from our conversation's uncomfortable topic. The bell rang and the six of us made our way inside.

As we approached the classroom, I saw Kyle standing at his locker humming along to a song on my iPod. He looked at me, smiled, and pulled down on his hat to make sure all his hair was covered. Was that Jew-Frodo thing really getting to him? I didn't want to make him insecure… Wait, maybe this means he really does like me. All of a sudden, my knees gave out and I toppled down onto the floor.

"Are you ok?" Within a second, Kyle was down on the floor next to me, trying to help me up. "You look a little…" BLEEHH Oh my God, did I just throw up!? I thought to myself, as I looked at the mess all over Kyle's bright orange jacket.

"Well, that's a little gross." He said, looking down at the barf. "I'm going to take you to the nurse now." He said, pulling me up and guiding me down the hall. I threw up on Kyle? I looked down to see that he was holding my hand. Promptly, I grabbed his shoulders and threw up again.

"Oh my… maybe we should get you to the nurse a little faster," He said, genuinely concerned. Wait a minute, when Stan throws up it's because… Oh my God. I looked over at Kyle, and he smiled.

"We're almost there. You're going to be ok." No I'm not, I thought to myself. There is no way that I am going to be ok ever again.

* * *

**Yea! Another chapter complete! I even added more OCs this time! **

**In case you're wondering, I'm adding them into the story in the order that they were submitted with a few exceptions (Kyle's sister seemed appropriate for this chapter, just ignore the fact that she showed up to school without Kyle… maybe there was a sleepover or something? haha). Don't worry if yours isn't in yet, she will be soon. **

**Oh, and I won't be updating too much this week because I have exams. But I may update once or twice! **

**P.S. I'm a Coldplay fanatic, so that reference was totally necessary.**

**Don't forget to review! Thank!**


	5. Dance Drama and Sumo Wrestlers

After Kyle dropped me off at the nurse's office, she sent me home, claiming I had the stomach flu and needed some rest. But when I got home, I was perfectly fine… ok not really. Stupid genetics, I thought to myself. Why do the Marsh's blow chunks all over the people they… I can't even say it. I don't like Kyle. I DO NOT like Kyle. Oh fuck, who am I kidding? I like Kyle and there's nothing I can do about it.

I just moped around the rest of the day, praying that Nikki would still be my friend after… Wait, maybe everyone's wrong. Maybe Kyle doesn't like me at all. Maybe I just got nervous and week-kneed around him because I thought _he_ like _me_. I mean, no one has any proof Kyle likes me at all. Ha, problem solved.

I went through the rest of my day with high hopes that this whole debacle would be over by morning. I ate some pizza, watched some cartoons. But, when I reached, for my iPod, it was nowhere to be found. Then, there was a knock at the front door. Uh-oh.

"Um, hi," I said, opening the door to see the one person I really didn't want to be standing at my door today.

"Hey, Livy," Kyle chimed back. "You feeling better? You still look a little sick" I frowned.

"I'm actually feeling a lot better now…"

"Oh, it's not like you look bad or anything! That's not what I meant. Oh, shit. I'm sorry you look really pretty… wait, no. That's not what I… Here's your iPod." He held the iPod out in front of me and I smiled. Maybe he likes me after all. Wait, that's a bad thing.

"Thanks, you can come in if you want." Wait, did I just invite him in?

"Sure," He stepped inside my house, and looked around the living room. Tyler was crawling around on the floor. He smiled. "Tyler's getting big," he commented.

"Yep, he looks more and more like Will every day. Let's just hope he doesn't start to act like Will." He laughed and then agreed, so I continued. "Did I miss much at school today?"

"Actually, you'll never guess who asked Cartman to the dance." He said, sitting himself down on the couch and patting the spot next to him. "After all you've been through today, you'll want to sit down for this one." He was grinned, enjoying withholding such vital information from me.

"Get on with it Jew-Frodo…"

"Alice Lufkin"

"WHAT?!?!" I said, practically falling off of the couch. Alice was the nicest, most adorable girl in our class. She looked like an innocent little fairy from a princess movie. I'd heard rumors she liked Cartman, but most people agreed that she's be better off with someone like Butters, her close friend. And she came from such a good family. I mean, her brother's at Harvard, and she goes for the Fat Ass?! "What is the world coming to?! Did he say yes?"

"Yep," Kyle said, thoroughly enjoying my reaction. "I think he was stunned that someone actually wanted to go with him. Oh, and there was a HUGE catfight over Craig in the cafeteria. Even my sister was in on it."

"She's always had a thing for him," I replied, honestly. "Then again, so have a lot of people."

"I know, Sonia practically ripped Kayley's hair out when she found out she was going to ask Craig to the dance." I laughed at the mental images, and he continued. "Then, out of nowhere, Lucy Montgomery comes running up saying Craig already asked her and pushes Sonia into a trash can… It was scary."

"Haha! I love Lucy!" I said. Kyle laughed.

"Cute choice of words, Liv" I shoved him, still laughing at his story.

"Shut up!" I replied. "I heard that Pip asked Angela, and I also just got a text an hour ago from Rhiannon. Apparently, she's going with Christophe, and he doesn't even go to our school!"

"Wow, people are going crazy over this stupid dance." He said, looking down towards the floor. I wasn't thinking straight, so I said the first that popped into my head.

"Who are you going to take? Rebecca again?" Now I was looking at the floor too, that was a really stupid thing for me to ask.

"No." He said quietly, there was silence for a while. Then he continued. "I'm kind of afraid to ask the girl I sort of… well… like right now. I don't think she's taken yet or anything. It's just sort of nerve wrecking to ask."

"Oh," I replied, my eyes glued to the carpeting. "What's the worst thing she could say?"

"No," he said. And I laughed at his blunt honesty.

"Well, Bebe's going with Token, so I hope it's not her you like." He looked up.

"Good riddance." He replied. He was smiling again, and I felt a little more at ease.

"Don't be mean!" I laughed, and continued. "I don't think Nikki has a date yet…"

"Oh," he said, frowning. "She's cool."

"Is it Sandra?"

"No."

"Lynda?"

"Nope."

"Kyle, there's no one left in the class!" I said laughing. Wait, there was one person left in the class… my face fell, but my heart was racing. Kyle must have realized what he'd done because he stopped laughing and immediately got up off the sofa.

"I think I'll just go," he said looking down at me as I stared up at him in shock. "Don't worry about the dance. Someone with enough guts is going to ask you. I might just not go." He began moving towards to door.

"Wait, Kyle!" he turned around, "I think you have a lot of guts..." He smiled.

"Well, then. I was thinking maybe we…"

"SUMO WRESTLERS!!!" Will chased Ike down the stair screaming. Both boys were in their underwear. "I'm gunna get you Ike!'

"Jesus Christ, Will!" I yelled. "Put your clothes on!" I turned around and Kyle was gone. Oh my God, was he just about to ask me to the dance? Shit! Was I encouraging him to ask me to the dance?! I felt a little sick again so I went up to my room to lie down.

Love sucks, I thought to myself as I lay awake in my room. Little did I know, my week was going to get a whole lot worse. Little did I know, someone was about the get the perfect opportunity to bring me down.

* * *

**Horray! I wrote the last two chapters together, but I wanted to separate them and edit this one a little more (I'm a fan of short chapters) and edit in some more OCs. **

**Major boy drama right now… But, Cartman's going to come on strong in the upcoming chapters! **

**Coming up: Fist fights, revenge, revenge against revenge, band rehearsal, and the Smoothie King disaster. **

**Get pumped! Please Review! **


	6. Kitty and the Note

I knew I needed to do something. I liked Kyle, but I couldn't let anything happen. That'd be too hard on Nikki. I got up out of bed, grabbed a pad of paper, and began writing:

**Kyle, **

** I realize you might have been trying to ask me to the dance yesterday. ****I think that's really nice of you but **** If you weren't, just rip this up right now, sorry. But if you were, that's really cool. Honestly, I think I like you too. But, I don't think this is fair to Nikki, she's liked you since we were five. She's totally obsessed. Please, give her a chance and just forget about me. I'm not worth it, trust me. **

** Your Friend, **

** Livy **

I folded the note up, put it in the front pocket of my backpack, and went to bed.

* * *

**Meanwhile, somewhere a few houses over…**

"Oh kitty…"

"Meow"

"Today was a good day. A girl finally realized how smoking hot my body actually is and asked me to the dance. It's about time too. I mean, look at me."

"Meow"

"And on top of that, Livy Marsh went home sick. I didn't have to look at her stupid, ugly face all day long. Plus she barfed on Kyle! He smelled nasty for hours! Thank you, Jesus, for this wonderful day."

"Meow"

"Your right Kitty, I still haven't gotten back at Livy for telling everyone I got a 12% on my spelling exam."

"Meow"

"Damn it, Kitty! Only nerds know how to spell the word Kwilt! No one's even used one of those things since the colonial times! I have to get back at her, but how...... NO KITTY! THIS IS MY POT PIE!!!"

* * *

**FYI Kwilt = Quilt. Haha.**

**I wonder if you guys can see where this is going… any guesses? **

**Calculus study session this morning, Psychology this afternoon. If I update anymore today, please reprimand me, I'm procrastinating (and grounded…my bad). Thanks for reading, please review! **

**I'm turning this out fast because I'm procrastinating and grounded, not because I always have so much time. I do apologize if you get used to me turning these puppies out super fast and then I get wrapped up in the holidays and leave you hanging for awhile. The good news: I have a term paper due in the middle of January; I'll be procrastinating like crazing come 2010! **


	7. Beatings and Wheepings

**Yes, I just had to update one last time. Don't Judge!**

**There are a lot of POV changes at first but the chapter sort of needed that so be patient!**

**Hey, Kootie Bomb –because you're OC has the same name as my sister, she's getting all the funny lines… you'll see when you read.**

**Oh, and xXBeyondBirthdayXx – the Killer Klowns are in the next chapter. Get pumped. :)**

* * *

Tuesday I woke up in a pretty good mood. I got out of bed, brushed my teeth, got dressed, and went down stairs to breakfast. It wasn't until I had the strawberry Poptart in my hand that I remember everything that'd happened the day before.

Shit! Yesterday was fucked up. Hopefully the letter in my backpack would make things go back to normal. A feeling of sadness rushed over me. I hope Kyle doesn't get too upset, I thought to myself. Come to think of it, I hope I don't get too upset. This might be harder than I thought. I opened the door and made my way to the bus stop.

***

There he was, standing in his usual place on the side of the road in the knee-deep snow.

"Hey" He said smiling at me as I approached. I smiled back. Stan nudged him in the arm while Kenny muttered something to the two of them that made Stan laugh but made Kyle angry.

"Shut up, Kenny!" He yelled. Stan continued to laugh.

"Heya Liv," Stan said turning to me, "Any word from our Dads?"

"Nope," I said, looking down at the snow. Maybe I should wait to give him the letter… The bus approached and I boarded as quickly as I could.

***

"What's that?" Kyle said, looking down at the folded piece of notebook paper lying in the snow.

"Maybe it's another note for my mom, maybe Livy forgot to give it to me and just dropped it by accident." Stan said, reaching for the note.

"Hold on!" Cartman yelled. This could be just what he needed. "It's mine, silly me. It's a note from my mom to Mr. Garrison about their lunch date tomorrow." The other three boys were less than convinced.

"That's bullshit!" Kyle said, reaching for the note.

"Is not!" Cartman yelled, shoving the note down him pants. He smirked. "Just try to get it now, Jew." Kyle took a few steps back.

"You win for now, fat ass."

Once he was comfortably situated on the bus, Cartman pulled the note out of his pants and silently read it.

"This is too good," he mumbled to himself with a smile. "Livy Marsh, You're going down."

***

"Alright Eric, it's your turn to share what you've brought in for show and tell." Mr. Garrison said, listlessly perusing the pages of his Cosmo magazine.

"Today, I was going to bring in an article on the highly inspirational revival of the Nazi movement in Argentina," He said, standing up in front of the group of uninterested fifth grade students. "Instead, I thought I'd share a little love note with you guys. After all, it concerns a few of our very own classmates."

"Oh my God…" Livy said, hiding her face with her hands.

"My dearest Kyle,**" **Cartman began. "I realize you might have been trying to ask me to the dance yesterday. That's really cool. Honestly, I think I like you too…. Hahahaha….. But… uh-oh!....... I don't think this is fair to Nikki, she's liked you since we were five…… haha so true……… She's totally obsessed…… yep she's a creep alright………..Please, give her a chance and just forget about me. I'm not worth it, trust me.... this is also very true. This letter was written to our favorite little Jew by… any guesses?"

"Shut your fucking mouth, Cartman!" Kyle screamed. Stan was holding him down in his chair. Nikki was in tears, and Livy had already run out of the room.

"Yes, Butters?" Cartman pointed to the blonde-haired boy, eagerly raising his hand.

"Oh! I bet Livy Marsh wrote it on account of she just left the room and Kyle has the hots for her."

"Butters!" Alice yelled. "For the love of God, don't provoke him!"

"Yes Ma'am," Butter replied shirking back into his seat.

"You're fucking dead Cartman!" Kyle screamed, breaking free from Stan's grip and lunging at the boy.

"You gotta catch me fist Jew-boy!" Cartman, yelled. But that didn't take too long. And, by the time Mr. Garrison could find someone more competent than himself to break up the fight, Cartman was already sobbing like a girl.

***

"Livy?" Lynda yelled as she walked into the bathroom. "You've been in here for over an hour" I didn't answer. "Olivia Marsh, I see your shoes in the third stall don't you try to hide from me."

I came out of the stall, tears in my eyes. "I've never been more embarrassed in my life. Now they both hate me!" I sobbed. She embraced me in a hug. Just as she did, Kayley and Angela walked in the door.

"That's not true," Kayley said. "My brother could never hate you… My mom could though." Angela smacked her on the side of the head.

"What do you mean?" I said, wiping my nose with the bottom of my sleeve.

"Well…" Angela said, thinking of the right thing to say. "He sort of just beat the shit out of Cartman." No way! I smiled at the mental images.

"How bad is it?" I asked.

"Pretty bad," Kayley replied. "Kyle's in a shit-load of trouble. We've got Sonia and Token stationed in front of the nurse's office trying to get the scoop on just how badly Cartman's beat up. From what we saw… he's going to be feeling the pain for a _long_ time. I'm about to go back with Stan to try to find out what's going on with Kyle in the principal's office." I nodded in approval.

"How's Nikki?" I asked, watching Kayley walk out of the bathroom.

"We don't really know." Angela replied, "It took Rhiannon a long time to find her. Once she did, she couldn't coax her out of the janitor's closet she was hiding in…" Lynda decided to chime in:

"Rhi came back for reinforcements. But Wendy insisted that we should just leave Nikki alone and that this was all her fault for being so obsessed with Kyle in the first place."

"But, that's not true…" I sniffled.

"We know. So then Vivi yelled her head off at Wendy about it. She called her a stupid, selfish bitch with no empathy. Blah, blah, blah… Anyway, eventually Kenny was able to coax Nikki out." I smiled. He'd always been pretty good with her.

"Well, Vivi's never really liked Wendy anyway, and she can be a little…. difficult" The other girls laughed. "Is Nikki angry with me?"

"Truthfully? Yes." Angela replied. Well, at least she was being honest.

"Hey you guys!" Sandra said, swinging open the door to the bathroom. "A fractured arm, a broken nose, a black eye, AND a missing front tooth! Cartman looks like a banged up hobo!" Lucy ran up behind her, and yelled:

"It's fucking sick, dude! You guys should see him! I mean, who knew Kyle had all that brutish strength in him!? It's sort of a turn on if you ask me." Sandra rolled her eyes and replied:

"Shut up, Lu. That's all we need. Besides, didn't you just get in a huge fight over Craig?" Lucy smiled.

"Yep, I guess me and Kyle have a lot in common..." We all stared silently at her. "I'm kidding! God, you guys! Please, lighten up!"

We all laughed, even me. In fact, I may have laughed louder and longer than any of them. Sandra calmed down, and continued with the news.

"Oh! And Kyle broke his right hand from all the hitting." I began to cry again.

"No, no, no! It's ok!" Lynda said patting me on the back. "Geeze, I'm surprised that you're even capable of all these emotions. You always act… well, like such a guy. Who knew a boy could do this to you?"

"I hate boys!" I cried.

"Mmhm, do you hate Kyle?" Lucy said with a grin.

"Noooo!" I moaned, still sobbing. The other girls laughed. "Stop it you guys! This isn't funny!"

"Suspended," Kayley said, standing in the doorway.

"What?" We all replied.

"He's been suspended for the rest of the week. God, my mom is going to kill him."

* * *

**When you have a strict no study between 6 and 10 pm policy, what's the harm in writing a little more before dinner? After all, I did have 3 cups of coffee today.**

**I mean, I did go to some study sessions.... That's good enough for me! Why do I have a feeling I'll have a billion more chapters written by the times exams are over? **

**Well, did you see it coming? This was an easy chapter because it's pretty true to life. The mushy stuff in previous chapters was mostly embellishment. Eleven-year-old boys aren't really that sweet or romantic… Haha. Most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me, no joke. My BFs knuckles are still messed up from beating the kid up. He was almost expelled. I'm glad he wasn't :) **

** Thanks for reading, please review!**


	8. Killer Klowns

**I do not write fluff! This has a purpose I promise, even if it may not seem like it when you read it. You're going to have to trust me on this one**.

* * *

"What is she doing here?"An unfamiliar girl asked as I followed Stan into the dimly-lit garage. Who's this chick? I thought to myself, making myself comfortable on a fold-up lawn chair. I had wanted to hear Stan's new band, Killer Klowns, for a while now. I suppose it was the traumatizing events of the day that led to my invitation that afternoon.

"I told them not to bring her, Wonder," Craig wined, addressing the girl tuning her guitar. "We need all the practice we can get if we want to become serious musicians. Distractions will get us nowhere."

"Oh shut up, Craig!" Stan quipped, grabbing a soda out of the cooler. "It's about time we got the opinion of an outsider." Rhiannon smirked and whispered to me:

"Don't listen to Craig. He's just angry because he knows we're going to drop him once Token agrees to join." I giggled. Rhi was always pretty good at cheering me up. She was the lead singer of the band and had come up with the name Killer Klows... I have no idea where it came from but it was still pretty hardcore. Stan was getting pretty good at guitar, so she asked him to join, and Kenny was the only drummer they knew. The new girl, Wonder, got on board after Rhi saw her perform at a coffee shop, she was supposedly one of the best guitarists in South Park. That Goth kid from school was on keyboard, don't ask me how he got involved. And, Craig just liked the name, so he offered to play Bass Guitar.

"Ok, guys you ready to play or what?" Wonder said, grabbing her guitar pick from the table and plugging in her amp.

"As ready as we'll ever be," Craig mumbled, anxiously picking at his strings.

"One, two, three, go!"

"K-K-K-Killer Klowns are never going down—

They're going to live forever—

Killer Klowns coming to your town—

In any kind of weather—"

Was this supposed to be funny…? Oh well, at least I was smiling. And the music was good, the lyrics were just… lacking.

"Well, did you like it?" Stan asked, smiling hopefully at me.

"Oh course she doesn't like it!" Rhi groaned. "I mean, Craig wrote the stupidest lyrics I've ever heard!" Craig frowned and shot back:

"You know, at least someone around here was willing to write us some relevant lyrics! I don't think 'Stab, Stab, Dagger in my Heart' is a song everyone can relate to!" Gee, I wonder who wrote that song…

"It is when you're drowning in a sea of everlasting misery!" The Goth boy mumbled… hmm, weird. I thought he was going to yell… can't Goths yell?

"Hold on you guys!" Wonder said, calmly placing her guitar down and moving towards the table in the corner of the room. "Kenny wrote a pretty decent song." Whoa, Kenny write songs?

"I got the guitar part down for it. He mainly did the lyrics and stuff… I think it's pretty good" She smiled over at him as he bashfully turned away.

"Alright, let's hear it then," Rhi said, taking a seat next to me.

"It's really not that good you guys," Kenny said, pulling down his orange hood and exposing his face so that he could actually sing.

"I'm sure it's awesome, Kenny," I smiled. "Besides, I think I win the embarrassment award for today."

"That's true," Stan said with a smile. I smacked him on the arm, hard. What can I say? He's family, it's a reflex.

Wonder began to play her acoustic guitar as Kenny sang some lyrics scribbled on an old napkin:

"She's got a smile, that I die for  
Everyone knows that I'm a prisoner of war for her  
Yeah

Sometimes I wish I had a kung-fu grip;  
I'd never let her slip away, always she'd be my girl  
I really wish she knew, what I feel is true  
She'd be my doll, and I would be her hero, too

I'm so in love with her.  
I don't care who knows that I'm ready to fight, ready to go;  
Just like a GI Joe

Sometimes I wish I had a kung-fu grip;  
I'd never let her slip away, she'd be my girl  
I really wish she knew, what I feel is true  
She would be my doll, and I would be her hero, too"

The song ended and the five of us were left blankly-staring in shock. Wow, that was actually… good.

"Kenny, that was awesome… But, who's it about?" Rhi asked, still a little shocked from Kenny's raw skill. Kenny's smile quickly turned into a frown as he bluntly replied:

"Why does it matter to you?"

"It doesn't… but"

"I gotta go, see you guys tomorrow." And, just like that, Kenny was gone.

"He likes someone," I said smiling.

"Yeah, I wonder who," Stan said, scratching at his hat. "I hope it's not you. I mean, unless he want to end up with a busted hand and sus…"

"Don't say it!" I warned. "Besides, he wouldn't have preformed it in front of me if it was for me. He doesn't have that much confidence." Stan frowned.

"Ah well, I guess we'll just have to see…"

"Hey Raven, can I burn some of these candles?"

"Gah! No Goth kid, I told you a million times YOU MAY NOT BURN THOSE CANDLES!"

"Psh, conformist."

* * *

** Hello! Kenny's song is really just "Kung Fu Grip" by the Jonas Brothers. **

**Before you say "Ew. How could you? The Jonas Brothers are total tools." I'd like to explain my rational: I liked the feel of the acoustic guitar. The song's sweet and, most importantly, **_**simple**_**. I couldn't have him singing Radiohead, Robert Plant, or the Decembrists, could I? I mean, they ARE only 11. They're not able to process complex thought and abstract ideas (they're only in the concrete stage of development after all. Yea! I studied my Psych!) The link to the song's right here and in my profile if you need it. :) **

**.com/watch?v=eewWE89FLi4 **

**And if you really are angry and want a legit love song to imagine him singing, try "A Message" by Coldplay. It also fits his situation. .com/watch?v=mBHddoQm4w8 **

**Thanks for reading, please review!**


	9. The Boys are Back and Oreos

When I woke up on Wednesday, I was expecting the apocalypse. I mean, Monday was scary eventful, and Tuesday was the strangest day of my life, something big _had_ to happen next. But, it didn't. Kyle was suspended so he wasn't in school and Nikki wouldn't even look at me but, besides that, everything was pretty normal.

I went through my first full school day of the week. Cartman made smart-ass comments, Mr. Garrison was incompetent, Chef said "Hello children!" I was actually a little board. It wasn't until 3 o'clock that things began to pick back up again.

"Stanley and Olivia Marsh, your fathers are here" Principle Victoria said over the intercom as the bell rang at the end of school.

"Oh no," Stan moaned. "They did something stupid again. I know it." I nodded my head in agreement and replied:

"It's time for the inevitable."

We made our way outsides and our fathers were wearing matching cowboy outfits and ten-gallon hats. Both were drinking coffee out of their new "North Dakota is for Studs" mugs. Sometimes I just wish our dads were… human.

"Hello kids!" Uncle Marsh said.

"Yes, hello little buddies!" My father, Manny, echoed. "We thought we'd pick you up after school. We're all going over the Randy's to look at the pictures from North Dakota! Your moms are coming too! It's going to be a real hoot." Ew.

"Dad, can I ask you something?" Stan said, looking up at his father in disbelief.

"Sure partner, what's cracking?"… Is that even proper cowboy lingo?!

"You work as a geologist. Uncle Manny's an astronomer. You both have nine to five jobs, correct?"

"Yeppo, son," his father replied.

"Well then, how do you get away with going to North Dakota for no reason for three days and not get fired? I don't get it," Uncle Randy and my father frowned, looked at each other, and like all good parents who don't have an answer to their child's question, promptly changed the subject:

"Your mother told me Kyle was suspended," Uncle Randy said, "Come on, we'll talk about it in the car."

We made our way home to look at the dumb-ass photos of our fathers playing cowboys. The whole time all I could do was worry about Kyle. Why did everything have to get so complicated? Why did our stupid feelings have to get involved? I remember when we used to just have fun. I remember when he was just plain-old-annoying but extremely funny Kyle.

"_GAH! Girls aren't supposed to be so good at video game, God damn it, Livy!" Kyle said throwing his Play Station controller onto the ground. I had just beaten him at Halo for the fourth time in two days, and I guess it was getting a little old, at least for him. _

"_That's a sexist comment. I'm telling Sexual Harassment Panda!" I mocked hitting him with a pillow. _

"_Ew, that guy was so creepy," Stan mumbled, stuffing his face with popcorn. Suddenly the phone rang. _

"_I'll get it," Stan said, racing towards to phone. "Hi Wendy," he said with a sparkle in his eye. Kyle and I looked at each other. It was time for the routine. Kyle started:_

"_Hello Wendy, I was just wondering if I could ask you on a romantic dinner date so that I, love-struck as I am, may be presented with the opportunity to kiss you," he mocked, graciously bowing to me._

"_Why Stan! I would love it if you kissed me. However, I'm afraid whenever I am near you, you blow chunks all over me," I pretended to cry, throwing my hands back into the air. _

"_Wendy my love, I promise that will not happen again, I am over my love sickness."_

"_Why in that case! Pucker up hot stuff!" I yelled throwing myself at him as he tackled me to the floor._

"_BLAH! BRARF, BRARF, BLAH!"Kyle yelled, pretending to throw up all over the place and tickling me._

"_Ah! Kyle, stop it! Ah!" I was almost crying I was laughing so hard. _

"_WOULD YOU SHUT UP!?" Stan yelled, obviously still on the phone with his beloved. "Oh no, not you Wendy!"_

"Livy?" Stan said, poking me in the arm. "Earth to Livy?"

"Oh, sorry, I spaced out," I said, returning to reality.

"You were thinking about Kyle," He said, smiling. I punched him in the arm.

"So what if I was?" I said, scowling at my cousin. He smiled as he stood up in the middle of our fathers' reenactment of their trip.

"Liv and I are going to go get some cookies. We'll be right back," We made our way into my cousin kitchen and he pulled out a seat for me to sit in at the kitchen table before he grabbed us a pack of Oreos to snack on.

"Ok, we got to talk," He said holding the pack out to me. "It's my obligation as Kyle's super best friend to clear this up."

"What do you mean?" Stan raised his eyebrow at me.

"We got to get everything straight, NOW. Do you or do you not like Kyle?" I hesitated, but answered honestly.

"I like him." Stan smiled.

"Good, because he _really_ likes you!" I frowned. "I mean, he's liked you for a while now. He talks about you all the time. It even got on my nerves a little, and I _have_ a girlfriend. I know the agonies of love." I giggled, but he continued in a serious tone. "Why'd you say to forget about you and go for Nikki?"

"Because Nikki has a huge crush on him, I can't do that to her," I answered, licking the white frosting out of the middle of my Oreo.

"Oh, I get it, the whole bros before hoes thing." I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Not exactly…" He smiled.

"You need to call him. He thinks you hate him now." What?

"That's stupid. I don't hate him at all!" I practically yelled across the table.

"Well, _I_ know that, but Kyle's blinded by his love" I gagged and Stan smiled. "What? All those years of Wendy jokes and I'm not allowed to have a little fun? Please, just call him, Liv."

"Ok, I will," I said, sitting back in my chair, my stomach flipping again and again. Wow, I thought to myself. I've never called a boy before.

* * *

**I'm really busy now that I'm done with my exams. I wanted to get all of the hump day out of the way, but still have the end of it to finish up later.**

** I'll try to update as much as I can, but don't get your hopes up for daily updates or anything :(**

** The juicy stuff starts back up on Thursday in the story. Wednesday's the dull stuff, sorry!**

** Thanks for reading, please review! **


	10. The Call

I arrived home a few hours after my conversation with Stan. My dad went straight to bed, exhausted from his trip to North Dakota. My mother made my brothers and me some dinner, but I couldn't eat anything.

"Olivia, aren't you going to eat something?" my mother said patting my on the back as Will devoured his grilled cheese sandwich and Tyler gazed longingly at his apple sauce.

"I'm fine. I'm really not hungry," I said, gazing at the sandwich before me. "Actually, I think I'm going to go to the family room and use the phone. I've got to call someone."

"Ok, honey. You're dinner will still be here when you're done," My mom said as I rose up from the table and exited the kitchen.

It's not a big deal, I thought to myself reaching for the receiver, phone book on hand. It's just Kyle. Kyle: the boy who kicked Cartman's ass and broke his hand for me, the boy who is suspended and most likely grounded because of me, the boy I threw up all over, the boy I publically humiliated with my stupid note…. ARG! This may be harder than I initially thought.

The phone rang and rang and rang. Isn't anyone home?

"Hello, Broflovski residence." Oh shit, Kyle's mom.

"Hello, my name is Olivia Marsh. I was wondering if I could speak with Kyle?" My voiced cracked a little at the end of the sentence. It was very unlikely that she was going to agree to my request.

"So this is Olivia Marsh, as in Stan's cousin from the 5th grade class. The one with the pink sweater, blue scarf, correct?" Oh no…

"Yes Ma'am that's me," I said.

"My son's in a lot of trouble because of you. I'm sorry but Kyle's grounded, he can't…" All of a sudden, there was a muffled sound at the other end of the line.

"Livy! It's Kayley. I'm going to talk to my mom about this. You sort of _need_ to talk to Kyle. Dad and I are going to do a little persuading here. Don't worry, wait five minutes and _he'll_ call _you_." It was such a relief to hear her voice. But I felt a little sick; I didn't really think I'd be allowed to talk to Kyle.

"Thanks Kayley," I said, my voice noticeably shaking.

"Oh, and don't worry, he doesn't hate you at all, trust me. Bye Liv," and with that, she hung up the phone. I took the phone up to my room to wait for the call. She was right. After five or six minutes the phone was ringing in my sweaty, tightly-clenched hand. I swallowed, and pressed the Talk button. Oh well, here goes nothing.

"Hello?" I said, as quietly as humanly possible.

"Hi," his voiced echoed from the other end of the line, nearly as quietly as mine.

"How's your hand?" I asked, becoming a bit more confident as I finished the question.

"It's been better. How's Cartman's face?" Kyle asked. We both laughed, easing the tension between us.

"He looks like shit. I mean, he always looks pretty crappy, but he really looks bad. They can't get him a false tooth until Monday. He's going to look like a hillbilly at the dance," I paused; maybe it wasn't such a good idea to mention the dance. But Kyle laughed and continued.

"That made my day. You get a date yet?" There was silence on both ends of the line.

"No. I'm not going to the dance," I replied.

"Why not?"

"Well, you can't go, so I won't go," I said, my voice was getting higher and higher with every syllable.

"I don't get it. You told me to forget about you…You don't like me." Kyle said, a hint of aggravation in his tone.

"I never said," I replied. There was no response, so I continued to explain. "God, I _do_ like you Kyle. I want you to know that. I. Like. You. You got it? But I can't do anything about it because Nikki likes you and that would ruin our friendship," Whoa, I may have gone a little overboard while expressing my emotion there….

"Oh," Kyle said.

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's ok. I can wait for you. I mean, we're eleven, right? As long as she get's over me within the next few years… I can wait. It's worth it," I giggled at his optimism.

"That was the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to my Kyle," I said, gazing out the window at the moon's reflection in the newly fallen snow.

"Don't worry about it. I understand the whole thing with Nikki. But it's not fair to her if I 'give her a shot' when all I really want is…" he trailed off at the end, but I knew very well what he was going to say.

"I'd come over to see you if I could," I whispered, I could almost feel him smiling at the other end of the line.

"As much as I'd love that, my mom would kill us both. You'll see me on Monday in school," He paused for a moment, and then continued, "My sister came up with a totally sick plan to get back at Cartman, you in?"

"The beating wasn't enough?" I laughed.

"That was _my_ payback. This payback's from you and Nikki," I sighed at the mention of me _and_ Nikki.

"She hates me," I said, tears in my eyes for the hundredth time this week.

"I doubt that. You probably just haven't talked it out yet. Talk to her tomorrow and things we'll be ok. I mean, look: we talked and I feel a million times better. You like me. Who knew?" I rolled my eyes, and smiled.

"Well, _I_ knew. You should've guessed from all the puking."

"Oh my God! Is that why you threw up? Wow, I guess that's genetics for you," he said.

"Yeah, Marsh genes are the strangest in all of Colorado."

"Maybe, but they produced my best friend and you, they can't be all bad," I laughed. But I heard Kyle's mom yelling at him to get off the phone, so I continued. "I guess you've got to go?"

"Guess so, but Livy?"

"Yeah?"

"I just want you to know that I've learned something over the past few months. Making fun of Stan and Wendy's relationship was wrong. I've learned that, when you're in love, it really sucks. Having people make fun of you for it just makes it harder." My smile became so wide it hunt the muscles around my mouth.

"Who are you in _love_ with Kyle?" I asked.

"Oh, shit. Gotta go. See you Monday, Liv." I hung up the receiver, and returned the phone to its rightful place in the living room. I didn't stop smiling for the rest of the night.

* * *

**I haven't seen so much snow since I was a little girl. There's no way I'm going anywhere for the next few days so expect new chapters! **

**Wednesdays done! Smoothie King and Kenny's crush revealed in the upcoming chapter or two... :)**

**But I've got a question: This story could end on Friday, or it could be continued on until Saturday… Saturday's stuff would be mostly epilogue / fluffy junk. Do you want that, yes or no?**

**Thanks for reading, please review! **


	11. Payback and Revalations

This was going to be totally sick. When I arrived at school on Thursday, Kayley explained her master plan in detail to me. Sonia, Lucy, Vivi and Rhiannon were all in. They all had a score the settle with Cartman. The plan couldn't fail.

"You just have to find out if Nikki wants to do it with us," Kayley explained. "I understand if she doesn't want to…"

"Yeah," I said, staring at Nikki from across the school yard. "I'll talk to her at recess."

Never in my life have the first three periods of school gone by so quickly. Before I knew it, it was 11 o'clock: time for recess.

"Hey Nikki," I called across the classroom as the bell rang. "I need to talk to you." She didn't say anything, but she stayed at her desk until everyone else had left.

"Are you still mad?" I said, hesitantly. I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

"I'm not too mad, I'm mostly embarrassed," She replied, looking down at her desk.

"Wait, really?" I replied. This was not what I had been expecting.

"Yeah, it's really sort of my fault. I _knew_ he liked you. I saw it coming from miles away. I mean, I even asked Kenny before the beginning of the school year if he liked you and he confirmed it."

"Wait, it was that obvious for that long?" I asked, pulling a chair up beside her.

"Yeah, I can't believe you didn't see it." She laughed but then continued, "And you like him too?

"I'm pretty sure," I said, as quietly as I could. Maybe she wouldn't hear me if I spoke really softly…

"It makes sense. You two are a lot alike…"

"We are?" I asked, nearly falling out of my chair. Nikki laughed and turned her head to face me.

"Hell yeah! You both love football, video games, school work (God only knows why), making fun of Stan, making fun of people in general." She took a breath and then continued, "You both hate Cartman and dumb people in general. You both are soberingly realistic… I could go on if you want."

"I get the picture," I said, smiling at all the similarities I was too stupid to see.

"Although you didn't have to say that I was obsessed with him. Come on Liv, that's a little strong." I shrugged my shoulders and laughed.

"You know me, I tend to exaggerate to get my point across," I said. She nodded her head in agreement.

"You can do what you want with him," She smiled, as she put her coat on for recess. "I think it's best if I move on. What kind of person would I be if I kept you from your soul mate?" I frowned and shoved her as we walked out the door.

"I think that's pushing it…"

"Yeah, yeah, just keep telling yourself that."

"So, you want to get some revenge on Cartman? Kayley came up with a kick-ass plan to bring him down. You're going to love it." She stopped dead in her tracks, turned to me, and said with a grin:

"Say no more. I'm in."

***

Let me brake things down for you: There's a small strip mall on the edge of town with multiple eating establishments. There's Starbucks, which caters the 18-30 year old crowd, Chipotle which caters to the 14-17 year old bunch, City Wok which caters to… I actually have no idea how goes there, and Smoothie King—paradise to kids 13 and under.

At 3:40 pm mountain time, Cartman goes to Smoothie King and orders himself a chocolate milkshakes (yes, Cartman is so fat that he actually orders a milkshake at _Smoothie_ King). How would he function without his favorite dairy drink? We were all about to find out.

"You guys ready?" I said, smiling at the group of girls around me as we watched Cartman enter the Smoothie King from across the block.

"Fuck Yeah," said Lucy, "It's about time someone did something that will really damage Cartman."

The bell rang as we passed through the door. Cartman was already standing by the counter waiting for his shake.

"Well, well, look who's here. The desperate girl and the girl who broke the little Jew's heart… and a bunch of other dumb girls too," Cartman said, smirking at us from across the room.

"Hello Cartman. Gee, up close, you can really tell how badly Kyle beat the shit out of you the other day. It's sad considering you have the size advantage and all. At least the missing tooth gives you a nice hole to stick your straw through!" He glared at me, as I approached to counter to order my smoothie.

"Hello, my name is Itsumo. Welcome to Smoothie King. How may I help you?" My server sounded less than enthusiastic. She looked a little Goth, and was wearing purple lip stick. She also looked like she wasn't in any mood to be messed with. This was going to be perfect…

"Yes, I'd like 10 Jumbo blueberry-banana smoothies please," I said. She raised her eyebrow at me and replied:

"Ten, Ma'am? Are you freaking serious?" I smiled and replied:

"Yes Please," She let out a loud groan and rang me up. Then she moved to the blenders to make Cartman's milkshake and my smoothies.

"Hey Cartman," Vivi said beckoning him towards her. "I know you're going to the dance with Alice, but I've always found you _tre_ _sexi_," While Cartman was distracted by Vivi's French, Sonia switched his newly made milkshake with one we'd mixed with a good deal of vinegar.

"Well baby, you know. My hot body's all for free. Maybe we could…"

"Oh look, you're milkshake's ready!" Vivi said, taking a step back from Cartman and pointing at the counter.

Cartman walked over to the counter, took a sip, grimaced, and spit it out all over the floor.

"Jesus Christ! What the hell is this!?" He yelled at Itsumo as she stared blankly at him. "It tastes like shit. Where the fuck is your manager?"

"God, Kid. What crawled up your butt and died. I made it same as I always do…"

"I want the manager!" Cartman yelled. Itsumo rolled her eyes and began moving towards the back of the store. "He's in his officer, creep. I'll go get him."

"Yeah, that's right respect my authority, bitch." Cartman mumbled sniffing the contents of his plastic cup.

"Hey Cartman," I said, walking up to him from behind.

"What?"

"You're a real dick." As I said that, Lucy kicked Cartman in the balls as Vivi, Sonia, and Nikki took the caps off all the blenders and turned them on high, sending blue mush all over the store.

"OW! Fuck you! Fuck you all!" Cartman said, crouched on the floor in agony. Kayley poured ice cubes down his shirt as I smeared whipped cream all over this hair and face.

All six of us ran out laughing

"Oh my God! That was sick!" Sonia said, whipping the tears from the corners of her eyes.

"He's going to be banned for life! Not to mention he's going to have to pay for all those smoothies," Nikki said, as she high-fived Vivi.

"Serves him right" I said, gasping for breath.

After the payback, we all decided it was time to head home. Nikki only lived a few block away from me, so we decided to walk together for a little while.

"That was fun," I said, still smiling from the look on Cartman face as he lay on the floor, practically crying.

"Yeah," she replied, looking off into the distance. "Hey, can you remind me to return a couple movies to Kenny?" She asked, shifting her focus to me.

"Yeah, why were you watching movies with Kenny?" I asked.

"We do it a lot. We watch a bunch of action movies. You know soldiers, guys and dolls, martial arts… it's kind of becoming our thing." I stopped dead in my tracts. Oh my God…

"G.I. Joe, heroes, Kung Fu grip…" My eyes were as big as pancakes. "Nikki, I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow.

"Ok, spaz. See ya," she replied as I raced down the street towards the bad side of town. Suddenly, everything was begging to make a lot of sense.

***

"Ok fat boy; I've got the manager… What the fuck?" Itsumo said as she looked at blue mess all over the store and the fat little boy crouched on the floor, covered in whipped cream.

"It wasn't me!" He yelled, trying to run out of the store, but failing miserably.

"You're twisted kid. I hope you have a lot of money on hand or I'm going to have to call the cops on you!" Itsumo said, blocking the exit of the store.

"Oh fuck…"

* * *

** Yea! A lot of goodies in that chapter, you've learned a lot I assume, hope you enjoyed it! :)**

** Let's see… We've still got the dance and a whole lot more drama in the upcoming chapters so stay posted. **

** Smoothie King was the cool place to be when I was 11 (I have no idea why). Being banned from it was like being on Friends and banned from Central Perk… it was socially unacceptable. Plus 11 year olds don't quite have the money to pay for all the damage. It was harsh, but totally deserved. **

** Thanks for reading, please review! **


	12. Confronting Kenny

"Kenny McCormick! Are you ready to tell me who you wrote that song about?!" I yelled as he opened his front door and stared at me in shock.

"No, why the hell would I tell you who I wrote the song about?" He asked as I made my way through the door and plopped myself down on his dirty sofa.

"Well then, let me guess: It's about Nikki!" Kenny blushed and covered his face with his hands as he sat down next to me.

"Who told you? Was it…"

"I guessed," I answered before he had time to even finish his question. "Anyway, why don't you do something about it?"

"Why would I do something about it?" he asked.

"Because, otherwise she's never going to know that you like her!" I replied. Honestly, boys can be so dense.

"That's not true. I told a few people. I figured eventually the rest of the class would find out and then _she'd_ do something about it." He paused and I frowned. "Duh, that's what happened with you and Kyle." Hmm, he has a point…

"But don't you want to play the song for her?" He laughed and replied:

"Hell no! That's make me look like such a pussy!" Ok… new angle:

"Don't you want to go to the dance with her?" He thought for a second and replied.

"Yes."

"Well, if you don't ask her, she'll just end up going with Butters…"

"Ew, really?"He asked, hitting his head on the back of the sofa out of frustration.

"Well, obviously! Butter's totally in love with her," I replied rolling my eyes. "Look Kenny, if there's one thing I've learned this week it's that communication is key. If Kyle had told me how he felt, if I had told him my honest reaction, and if I had worked things out with Nikki, then Kyle and I would be going to the dance together and none of this shit would've happened." Man, I'm starting to sound more and more like Kyle...

"This is true," Kenny replied, mocking me with a grin. "So, I should…?"

"Tell her how you feel, dummy!" I said, punching him in the arm.

"Right…Hey, Livy?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yes?"

"This doesn't have anything to do with clearing your conscious, does it?"

"What?"

"You know… you get Nikki to go out with me, and then you can have Kyle guilt free." I frowned and punched him in the arm again.

"No... Well, ok, maybe a little."

"It's cool; I'd do the same thing if I was you. So how am I going to go about this telling Nikki how I feel business?"

"You're going to sing her the song."

"Fuck no…"

"Fuck yes. Think about it Kenny: She's been obsessed with Kyle for _years_. It's not like she's been secretly crushing on you recently or anything. You've got to do something so romantic she instantly falls for you. It's easy and fool proof?" He frowned and replied:

"ARGH! You're right. So when and how will I go about this?" I smiled as I stood up from his couch.

"Well, I was thinking…"

* * *

**Yeah, Yeah. Super short I know, but I couldn't have her explain the whole romantic bit!**

**Tomorrow's all the major mush (it's the Friday of the dance after all) so if you're into that, get excited. **

**I will continue the story on to Saturday (maybe even Sunday) because you guys asked me too :)**

**Thanks for reading, please review!**


	13. The Love Song and the Plan

"You ready?" I said, smiling at the boy in the orange parka with his head in his hands.

"No," he replied. "I don't feel so good."

"Wait, I don't see why I got dragged into this," Stan said holding his guitar under his arm and frowning.

"Because you love me very much," I said, as the confused boy rolled his eyes in my direction. "And you love Kyle, and Kenny, and you want everything to be happy and perfect. Plus, you play the guitar…"

"Well, I must love you guys a lot to publically humiliate myself like this." Stan said, kicking a rock across the pavement. Kenny almost looked green now, and I kicked Stan in the leg to keep him quite.

"Shut up! You know Kenny's nervous! Don't make it any worse."

We were standing behind the temp building at the beginning of recess. The plan was that Kenny would sing the song to Nikki in front of the class while Stan played the guitar…blah, blah, blah, gushy, gushy, goo…You know the rest. We all saw Nikki playing at the other end of the playground and new it was about time Kenny got out there.

"I don't know if I want to do this…" Kenny said, as we walked across the playground towards Nikki.

"You'll do great!" I said patting him on the back reassuringly.

"You know, maybe she should just go to the dance with Butter…" Kenny said, turning around and briskly walking back towards the temp building.

"NIKKI! KENNY WANTS TO PLAY A SONG HE WROTE FOR YOU!!!" I screamed at the top of the lungs, attracting the whole playground's attention.

"Fuck you, Livy," Kenny mumbled as he stepped closer to Nikki and me.

"You'll do great," I said, smiling at the clearly nervous boy.

"You wrote me a song? Kenny that's… that's awesome," Nikki said, staring in disbelief at the three of us standing before her.

"Yeah, I guess. You want to hear it?" Kenny asked, anxiously scratching at his hood. Nikki nodded. Kenny then nodded to Stan who then began playing.

"She's got a smile, that I die for  
Everyone knows that I'm a prisoner of war for her  
Yeah

Sometimes I wish I had a kung-fu grip;  
I'd never let her slip away, always she'd be my girl  
I really wish she knew, what I feel is true  
She'd be my doll, and I would be her hero, too

I'm so in love with her.  
I don't care who knows that I'm ready to fight, ready to go;  
Just like a GI Joe

Sometimes I wish I had a kung-fu grip;  
I'd never let her slip away, she'd be my girl  
I really wish she knew, what I feel is true  
She would be my doll, and I would be her hero, too"

The song ended and Nikki's smile was the widest I'd ever seen it.

"Wow, Kenny that was… amazing… do you…" before she could finish, Kenny quickly blurted out exactly what had been on his mind for the past few weeks.

"So do you wanna go to the dance with me or what?" he said, his face as red as I've ever seen it. Nikki smiled and then quickly pecked him on the check and replied.

"Duh, Ken."

"Well, looks like my work here is done," I said, smiling at the happy new couple.

"Yeah, don't mind me. I just learned that guitar part in 25 minutes and played it flawlessly. But, you know, it's no big deal. I'm just my cousin's bitch."

"But you're a very good bitch who I love and appreciate deeply," I said, patting him on the back as the bell rang and we made our way inside.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Kyle saw this coming long before you did."

"What?"

"He's been predicting this for _months_. Hell, besides the whole letter-suspension fiasco, it's like he planned the entire thing, song, dance, and all."

"Oh my God," I said, shaking my head. "Kyle Broflovski, you're a fucking genius."

* * *

**Christmas is a busy time of year! **

**I'm going on vacation for a few days so don't expect many updates in the coming week.**

**I guess Kenny/Nikki is official now :)**

**But do you think Kyle actually knew all this was going to happen? Did he plan it? We will just have to see…**

**You guys get to pick who Saturday's chapter focuses on because I honestly have no idea what to write about in it. The poll's in my profile, please vote!**

**Thanks for reading, please review!**


	14. Time can be the Cruelest of Enemies

"But I want to go now!" I wined, sitting cross-legged on the floor of Nikki's bedroom. I was supposed to be helping her get ready for the dance, but I was a little distracted.

"No!" She firmly replied, brushing out her long brown hair. "You heard what Kayley told you: Kyle's parents are chaperoning the dance. He's going to be all alone _tonight_. You can go over and see him after seven."

"But what if I just climbed up through his window?"

"Are you serious? Last time I checked there weren't any large trees or ladders outside of Kyle's window. You'd break your neck," She said, staring at me as if I had a dozen or more heads.

"Not if I was careful," I replied under my breath.

"Jesus, girl," She said laughing and patting me on the back. "A week ago you didn't even think twice about Kyle."

"That's not true," I replied, clutching my knees to my chest. "Ok, it's a little true. But… I mean… do you really think he planned all of this?!" Nikki paused, and cocked her head to the side, deep in thought, then replied:

"He's a clever dude. I wouldn't put it past him."

I anxiously looked at the clock. 5:14… oh my God, this is agony.

"Oh please, Livy!" Nikki groaned, noticing my new found obsession with the time. "You know, if I hadn't had this whole thing with Kenny, I'd be really pissed about all this gushy stuff between you and Kyle." I smirked and replied:

"Which is why I propelled your relationship forward." Nikki rolled her eyes as she pulled me up off of the floor.

"Come on, Juliet. Let's go downstairs."

Nikki's mom fed us some dinner, and we watched a little Lizzie McGuire to pass the time before Kenny picked Nikki up and I bolted off to see Kyle. I always made fun of that show. But yet, I couldn't tear my eyes away from Gordo, Miranda, and Lizzie. Childhood is full of those love-hate relationships. Kids are never obligated to make up their minds.

Eventually, the doorbell rang. Horray! I thought to myself. I'm free! I went to answer the door because Nikki seemed to be glued to her seat.

"Hey Kenny!" I said, smiling at his cute little rented suit. He even had a little rose for Nikki (so adorable). He looked really nervous, so I grabbed his hand and pulled him inside to speed things up. There was only one thing on my mind.

"Hi Nikki," Kenny said, handing her the flower.

"Hello Kenny," Nikki replied grabbing the flower with a smile. Nikki's mom took a few pictures of them before Kenny's dad yelled for them to hurry up from the car.

"I guess you guys better go," I said, ushering them out the door.

"Liv?" Nikki said, smirking at me as she moved out the door.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"It's 7:01, get your ass over there."

And, just like that, I was running like an idiot towards Kyle's house. Funny what love does to a kid.

* * *

**Excellent! Another chapter is complete. **

**Don't be surprised if the chapter after this one comes out in a few hours, I adore Livy/Kyle dialogue and they've been apart for so long :(**

**I'm writing an epilogue right now that I think you guys will really like. I don't want to give too much away, but the fifth grade dance isn't exactly the dance the plot's going to end with :)**

**Thanks for reading, please review! (And I really do love reading all the reviews! They mean a lot to me!)**


	15. Basketball and Ice are Perfectly Nice

I didn't even bother knocking on his door. I just barged into his house… real smooth, Livy.

"Kyle?" I yelled into the seemingly empty house.

"Livy?" Kyle's muffled voice replied, as he poked his head out of the kitchen, a slice of pizza in each of his hands. It was then that I realized it was probably extremely stupid of me to barge over to his house and just… well, go in uninvited. I really need to start thinking before I act. He approached me from across the room, and I actually contemplated running out then and there.

"Hey," He said with a smile, offering me one of his slices. "So I see you're not at the dance?"

"You knew," I said, changing the subject to my topic of choice. "_I'll wait for you_ my ass. You knew this whole time…"

"What, about Kenny and Nikki? Yep, I knew all right," He smiled, but I cocked my head and frowned, urging him to continue. "Well, I'm not a jerk. I knew she liked me. And, when I found out that I… you know, liked you. I thought I was screwed."

"Just like I did," I replied. He nodded.

"So when I found out that Kenny had a crush on Nikki, I thought he'd ask her to the dance. Therefore, I could ask _you_ to the dance. But Kenny was a little…"

"Pussy," I replied. "Kenny was a pussy."

"Yeah, and he practically refused to ask her. But you fixed that, and here we are today." I smiled at him. Life was good and cleared up…. No wait, not everything was cleared up.

"I don't understand where we stand now," I said. Kyle frowned as he sat down on his sofa to finish his slice of pizza.

"I don't really understand either." He paused to think, and then continued: "We're friends. You've always been my friend… but you're a friend I'd rather not see talking to other guys and who I think is really pretty and stuff…"

"Isn't that like being your girlfriend?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Nah, I don't like that whole thing with Stan and Wendy. They're not really in a real relationship, we're only 11, half of the stuff a relationship entails we don't even understand. Maybe I can put you on hold for later, you know, for when we're old."

"Like being engaged to be boyfriend and girlfriend?" I asked. He smiled and nodded.

"Exactly like that," I smiled and agreed with him. It was sensible. "So, want to do something?"

"Like what?" I asked.

"Anything you want, we've got a few hours." I smiled. I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

***

"God Damn it, Liv!" Kyle shouted, throwing his controller onto the floor of his living room. "Girls shouldn't be so good at video games!"

"Maybe I'm not good," I replied, sticking my tongue out at him. "Maybe you just _really_ suck!"

"No way! I want to do something that you suck at so I can feel good about myself." I frowned, and shoved him in the arm.

"That's stupid. Is your ego really that bruised?!"

"Yes. Now, what do you suck at…?" He said, pondering his options. Suddenly, he grinned and turned to me. "Come on, I know what we can do." He grabbed my hand, grabbed a basketball, and pulled me out the door.

"No!" I yelled, trying to resist. "You know I don't like basketball!" I wanted to storm off in a huff. But, at the same time, I wasn't about to willingly let go of his hand. Ah, the hazards of love.

"I can teach it to you," he said, as we approached the park and the public basketball courts.

I stared at the foreboding hoop, it mocked me. Kyle was dribbling around, and making 3-pointers, trying to impressing me. Boys can be so stupid sometimes.

"Ok, here's how it works," he said, positioning himself behind me and putting the basketball in my hands. "Just aim and shoot, it's simple. I've got it aimed for you; just help me get it into the air."

"I'm going to miss," I complained turning around to see that his face was really, really close to mine. He blushed and I turned away, feeling a tad dizzy. "I don't want to…"

"Swish" He said, guiding the ball from my hands, through the air, and into the hoop. I stared in shock, as he ran over towards the ball. "You're a superstar." He mocked, smiling at me from across the court.

"Hey, wait a second! I bet I could do it without you!" I yelled, grabbing the ball from his hands and tossing it in the general direction of the basket. It missed by a mile.

"Yep, you really showed me," he said, smiling and running after the ball again. It was then that I noticed the long patch of ice moving from a few feet from where I stood to the other end of the court.

"Kyle!" I called. He looked over at me. "I bet you can't do this." And, with a running start, I made my way towards the large patch of ice and slid from a good fifty feet before I fell.

"Are you fucking serious?!" Kyle called after me. "That's baby stuff!" And, with that, Kyle ran towards the ice and slid a few mere feet before falling on his ass. I couldn't control my laughter.

"Baby stuff indeed!" I yelled getting up and sliding again.

"Shut up! I think I broke something." I frowned and carefully made my way towards him, feeling extremely guilty.

I looked down at him as he held onto his ankle. Suddenly, he smiled and shoved me down next to him.

"Ow! No fair! You tricked me!" I laughed, lying on my stomach in pain. "That really hurt!"

"Yep, now you know how it feels," he said, laughing along with me. "I'll help you up."

He got up onto the ice and reached out for my hand, but we both failed miserably in the balance department, and toppled onto our asses yet again. But this time, Kyle had fallen, well…. on top of me. We stared at each other, neither of us could move.

"Livy?"

"Yeah?" I replied. And, all of a sudden, he kissed me. It was quick, and a tad awkward, but it felt right. It was supposed to happen that way. I smiled and said: "I thought we weren't in a relationship." He smiled, as he attempted to help me up from the ice again.

"Shut up." He grabbed my hand as we made our way out of the park. "You cold?"

"Duh," I said, replaying our kiss over and over in my head.

"You looked cold. Here," he said, talking off his own jacket and handing it to me. I frowned and shoved it back at him.

"It's 25 degrees out. I'm not going to let you walk around in your t-shirt," He smiled and shoved it back towards me.

"Too late, you're cold. You wear it or no one does," I put the orange jacket on and quickly grabbed his hand again. We walked in silence for awhile before I looked at my watch.

"The dance is going to be over soon," I said. He looked at the time and replied:

"Guess so," He replied. "I'll walk you home."

"You know," I said, turning to look at him. "You're certainly acting like a boyfriend right now." He let go of my hand and threw his hands up in the air defensively.

"I'm not into labels," he said, grinning from ear to ear.

I smiled, moving around to the other side of him where there was more room on the side walk and grabbed his hand again.

"Ouch!" He yelled, jerking back from my grasp and clutching the hand in pain. I frowned and took a step back from him. "Sorry, you can't hold that one. It's broken."

"Oh," I said examining the bruised, swollen hand. "My bad."

"Actually, it's Cartman's bad for having such a hard face," He replied, moving to my left side so he could hold my hand again. "Wish you were at the dance?"

"Are you kidding?" I replied, squeezing his hand a little tighter. "The dance is for losers."

"I couldn't agree more," he said. We smiled at each other as we continued towards my house. Everything was perfect now.

* * *

**Looks like we've got our second couple together at last! **

**Thanks for voting in the poll (I haven't closed it yet if you still want to vote). It's actually a pretty even split between Cartman and Livy/Kyle. I didn't know you guys liked Cartman so much (I would've put him in more if I'd known). Oh, and whoever voted for Gobbles the Turkey is my hero. **

**Happy New Year in a few days! A new decade's approaching (and a hardcore rager tomorrow night, which I just bought a killer gold, glittery dress for—very Taylor Swiftish of me). Between the hangover I'll most likely get and the lack of sleep, don't expect updates until… ah, who knows. But if I put something out on Saturday and it makes no sense, try to forgive me. **

**Whoa… that was long. Sorry. **

**Thanks for reading, please review!**


	16. The Super Awkward Breakfast Experience

"Life is awesome," I said, smiling as I ate pancakes with my family Saturday morning.

"That's nice, honey," My mom said, pushing yet another disgusting spoonful of mush into my poor baby brother's mouth. "By the way, where were you last night?"

"Um…" I said, fiddling with the slices of bananas on the corner of my plate.

"Don't lie to us, Olivia. I was chaperoning the dance," My father said, raising an eyebrow as he finished off his cup of coffee. "And I spoke with Nikki and Stan. Neither was all too keen on revealing your location."

"I was with someone," I replied. They knew all about the whole Kyle incident, and I was a little afraid to tell the truth… Although I was pretty sure they had already figured it out.

"She was with Broflovski the elder," My brother said, incoherently through a mouthful of bacon. I rolled my eyes at the nickname. It was catching on around school. Broflovski and Marsh the elder and Broflovski and Marsh the younger—it was the only way Principle Victoria could tell which set of boys was being sent to the principal's office at any given time.

"Big surprise there," my mom said with a grin. I frowned as I cleared my place at the table. My brother looked at me with a grin and continued:

"They're boyfriend and girlfriend now." Oh no he didn't…. My father raised his eyebrows and my mother simply uttered something to the effect of 'I told you so.'

"That's not true, Will!" I yelled as a placed my dirty plate in the sink.

"Is too!" He replied. "I was over at Ike's last night and we listened to Kyle talk to Stan on the phone and Kyle told Stan that you guys kissed and everything!" Whoa, I didn't know boys told each other stuff like that. Whatever, I totally did the same thing with Nikki so I can't judge.

Before I had the chance to murder my brother, I heard a tap at the window. I looked through the window above the sink to see Kyle motioning me towards the door. Wow, I thought to myself. How the hell did he sneak out? I moved towards the door as fast as I could, but my aggravating devil's spawn of a brother beat me too it.

"Olivia!" Will yelled from the backdoor. "It's your boyfriend, Kyle Broflovski." One of these days that boy is going to get it…

My whole family stared at him from the table as he stood tentatively in the doorway.

"Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Marsh," He said with a faint smile. I threw on my boots and met him at the door as quickly as humanly possible.

"Why, good morning Kyle!" My mother replied, smiling at his from her seat. "Where are you two off to this morning?" I look at him, waiting for an answer.

"We're all going to the park." Stan said, coming up behind Kyle and grabbing an Apple of our counter. "There's a big football scrimmage today against Clyde's team. Kyle was just coming to ask Liv if she wanted to be our wide receiver." The three of us smiled innocently at my family.

"Knowing Olivia, she'd love to," My mother said, sending an inquisitive look in her nephew's direction.

"And Stanley?" My father asked before we had a chance to escape.

"Yes, Uncle Manny?"

"You know Olivia doesn't have any older brothers. Watch out for her, ok?" Stan smiled and put his arm around me: the girl as red as the half eaten apple in his hand.

"Don't worry. I know where he hides the spare key to his house." Stan said, motioning towards Kyle. "Nothing'll ever happen to her on my watch." Good old Stan, embarrassing me even when he's trying to watch out for me. Cousins are a joy.

* * *

**Second half of Saturday's coming later and then, last but not least, the extremely long epilogue that is by far the longest chapter in this story (my bad). Get excited!**

**I slept all of yesterday and the first half of today. I don't remember painting my fingernails pink … I wonder how that happened. Hope you had an awesome New Year's Eve/Day! **

** I just found out I'm a YouTube celebrity…. well, sort of. Apparently this girl who used to go to my school posted all these videos of our cheer squad over the last couple of years. The one from my freshman year has over 800,000 views… and I had absolutely no idea. I'm sort of proud though :) If you type in "Archbishop Shaw" on YouTube, it's the first video that comes up. I may even post the link in my profile. I'm the awkward little freshy to the left of the captain (the girl who's front row center the whole time). Watch if you want, I'm not afraid to give this out because you can hardly see me and, again, I'm a tad proud of myself. **

** Thanks for reading, please review! **


	17. Danger, Danger!

"Do you enjoy embarrassing me?" I asked Stan as we walked down my driveway and away from the house.

"Yep," He replied with a smile. "You knew you had it coming with all that Stan and Wendy crap." I shrugged my shoulders. I guess he was right about that.

"What the hell is Cartman doing?" Kyle said, holding his arm out in front of me, protecting me from the object flying down the sidewalk in front of us.

At that very moment, Cartman flew by on his bicycle before crashing into the bush towards the end of the block. Jesus, I thought to myself. That was really close.

"Thanks Kyle," I said, watching the chubby boy down the block attempting to recover from his bicycle accident. Kyle smiled, obviously proud of himself, and replied:

"It's what I'm there for, babe." Stan rolled his eyes and punched Kyle in the rib cage.

"Jesus, dude! Please don't start with that shit! She's my cousin… actually, she feels and acts more like my sister! So, please don't make me barf." Kyle and I smiled at one another.

"If we wanted to make you barf, Stan, we'd just call Wendy over," I said as Kyle laughed and patted his best friend on the back.

"Sorry man, you set yourself up for that one."

"You guuuuuuuuys," Cartman yelled, gasping for breath as he ran up to us, leaves and twigs stuck in his hat. "You guuuuuuys!!!" He repeated as he stopped directly in front of us, red in the face and sweating like a pig.

"Yeah, Cartman?" Stan asked.

"They're after me!" Cartman wined, shaking all over. He look so pathetic, I almost felt sorry for him. "The police! The fucking police, man!"

"What the hell are you talking about, fat ass" Kyle said, rolling his eyes. After all, what were the odds that this was legit?

"The police force has a new chief! He's arresting everyone for all the crimes no one gave a shit about before! He's got Kenny for sniffing cat pee and almost killing Butters that time, Jimmy for hiring a hooker, Timmy for keeping an unregistered turkey in his home… I think they've got your dad too Stan, and Wendy, and Bebe! It's madness. They've got everyone! Why the fuck are they after meeeee?!"

"Probably because everything you do is illegal," I said, honestly. This was serious. You can't go around arresting everyone who breaks the law in South Park…. The whole town ends up in jail if you do.

"They're after you too, Kahl" Cartman said, still a little out of breath. "for sending that whale to the moon without a permit."

"It's all true," Nikki said, running up behind us. "They've got pretty much the entire town."

"Who's doing all this?" Stan asked, holding Nikki's shoulder so she didn't topple over. She'd obviously run a long way to get here.

"It's Al Gore," Nikki said. "He's still crazy as shit."

"Well," Stan said, staring off into the distance. "Guess we're just going to have to do something about this ourselves."

* * *

** I just wanted to end it with something totally implausible and random, hope you don't mind. Hmm… do I sense the Coon and Mysterion coming…? ;)**

**It's not going to be a long thing. Just a short little adventure to wrap things up before the epilogue is posted. It's just not South Park without totally random chaos anyway.**

**No reviews on the last chapter. It made really sad because I love to read them! :( If it's bad or boring, you can just say so! My cheer coach has made me numb to all criticism and degrading insults. Don't worry, I'll take it like a big girl. I just like to know someone is reading!**

**Thanks for reading, **_**please**_** review! **


	18. Logic and Rejection

"You're not serious," I said, staring at the masked figure before me.

"I'm completely serious. Don't worry. I can handle all the danger." The chubby boy in the spandex suit with the raccoon ears replied, attempting to look as badass as possible.

"Just go along with it Liv," Kyle said, attempting to find his old ninja weapons and outfit in the back of his closet.

"I'm not going to call Cartman the Coon! That's just ridiculous. He's not a legitimate superhero!" Cartman frowned at me, and moaned back:

"Aw Man! How did you find out my true identity?!"

"Dude, you're the only fat kid in South Park. It's a tad obvious."

"Livy!" Kyle yelled from the closet, "Do you want my samurai sword or my num-chucks?"

"I'm fine. I borrowed one of Uncle Jimbo's guns for protection," I replied, pulling the small hand gun from my pocket.

"Woah," Cartman said, examining it with envy. "That's badass."

***

We arrived at the police station only to find that is was bursting at the seams with newly convicted prisoners. Nikki and Stan had gone ahead, so I could only assume that they were already inside.

"Ok you guys, so here's what I think we should do," Cartman said, scanning the perimeter of the building with his eyes. Kyle, you go distract the police and allow them to arrest you, while Livy and I enter the station through the back door. Then, Livy can gun down some of the guards inside while I find Al Gore and kick his ass."

"Hey, fat ass! Why do I have to sacrifice myself?!" Kyle yelled, aggravation in his eyes.

"Because, Kahl! You're the Jew, and everyone knows Jews can't fight crime."

"You guys are so stupid," I groaned. "No, just, no. You two can do this your way, but I'm doing it mine."

***

"You're going down Al Gore!" Cartman yelled, kicking him in the shin, while attempting to avoid the many guards on his tail.

"You don't want that little boy. Why, without me, who would protect you from manbearpig?" Al Gore replied shaking his fist at the chubby boy in the raccoon costume.

"Manbearpig isn't even real! You made him up," Stan yelled from the arms of one of the guards.

"Oh he's real!" Al Gore exclaimed, a maniacal twinkle in his eye.

"Excuse me sir," I said, bursting through the doorway.

"Yes, little girl."

"Your appointment to office has just been revoked. You are immediately removed from this position." I handed him the official document with the governor's signature and all that jazz.

"Oh, ok then," He said, grabbing his hat off the table and exiting the room. "Now, what should I do next? Run for Vice President again… hmm, possibly."

The three boys stared at me in shock.

"Wow, I guess you did it," Stan said, his face completely void of expression.

"I did it the legal way that made sense," I replied with a smile. "But you make a very cute little crime fighter." I turned to Kyle, who was also staring at me in shock. "And you make a pretty handsome ninja." Finally, I turned to Cartman. "And you… make very little sense to me."

***

Monday was back again. School was normal, and all the girls had plenty of gossip to force on me after the dance.

Kenny and Nikki ate together at lunch and even held hands in the hallway—it was more than adorable. Kyle passed me a note, and I shoved him down in the hallway, but besides that, we kept our relationship on the down low… at least, for the time being.

Everything was fine. That is, until I arrived at gym class, signed up for a football scrimmage and was brutally shot down by our gym teacher.

"Sorry, new school policy. No girls are allowed the play in contact football." What the fuck!?

"But I own at football," I wined. I was so angry I could have punched the man if he had been standing close enough.

"It doesn't matter. Rules are rules." He said, pushing me to the side. What the fuck was I supposed to do now?!

"Hey Livy!" Bebe called from the corner of the gymnasium. I walked over to see what she wanted from me. "This may go against your principles and everything but… well… maybe you should join the cheer team."

"I'm sorry what?"

***

"So, you're a cheerleader now," Kyle asked, approaching me as I walked toward the bus after school.

"Shut up," I replied, holding my new uniform tightly under my arm.

"It's not necessarily a bad thing," he replied kicking a stone off of the sidewalk in front of him.

"It's the only way I get to see all of the football and basketball games for free," I said, frowning at him as we approached the bus.

"You're going to like it, I know it," He said, patting me on the back with a smile. "It's competitive and athletic. You're going to whoop all those other girl's asses. I'm sure of it" I stopped and looked him directly in the eye.

"You're a good friend, Kyle… or whatever it is you are." He smiled and replied:

"I'm glad, because I have a feeling that you're not going to be able to get rid of me anytime soon."

* * *

** Epilogue is coming and I am oh so very excited! **

** I kind of rushed that… mainly because I'm in love with the epilogue… sorry if it was a tad too quick and random for you. **

** Epilogues going to be posted in three parts and they're all almost finished so they should be posted very, very soon in quick succession. **

** I always wanted someone to solve something logically on the show (not that I don't enjoy the crazy antics of the boys and other citizens of South Park.) I was just spicing it up! **

** You know how you think you're going to hate something and you end up, well, loving it to death? That's what I was going for with the end of this. If anyone told me I'd love cheer 5 years ago, I would have spat right in their face… maybe not, that's a little too rude for my taste. But you get the picture. :)**

** Thanks for reading, please review! **


	19. Epilogue Part 1

"Livy, what the hell are you doing?" Nikki asked, staring at me, as I gazed at my newly powered face in the mirror, aimlessly reminiscing about the past.

"Nikki, do you remember the week of the 5th grade dance?"

"Hell yeah! That was the weirdest week ever. Jesus, more stuff happened in that week than in entire grade levels we've lived through." I laughed as I applied some mascara to my eyelashes.

Nikki was pulling up on her blue staples dress, you know how those dresses are, constantly riding down lower and lower on your bust. I smiled looking at the two seventeen-year-olds reflected in the mirror.

I was in a maroon sweat-heart cut dress. It was above the knee so I could move, and it made an intriguing swishing noise when I walked that I thoroughly enjoyed. He said he was going to wear a marrow bow-tie to match… well, he actually said he was going to wear a maroon bow-tie, shoes, and suit. But I'm 99.9% he was just shitting around with me. He wouldn't. It would clash with his precious hat that, when he picks me up, I will promptly rip of his head. After all, it isn't exactly appropriate attire for…

"Thinking about it now, that week wasn't all that bad." Oh Jesus, now I've got her reminiscing too. "I mean, the dance was fun, and Kenny wrote me that really cute song. Amazing to think that dick could be such a sweetheart." I smiled and replied:

"If he's such a dick, then why exactly are you going to prom with him?" She frowned and quipped back:

"Olivia Isabel Marsh, you are my best friend, and you know very well it's…complicated." I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. It actually wasn't that complicated at all. She was going to the prom with him because they were totally and completely in love, although neither one would dare admit it. They'd been an off again on again couple for years. They'd fight and fight and fight, break it off, go out with other people, drive each other completely insane with jealousy, and get back together again. It must've happened 20 times by now.

"Besides," She continued. "Not everyone can have it as easy as you."

"Who says I have it easy?" I asked, pinning my curls up in a gold barrette.

"Please, you guys are more consistent than Stan and Wendy. Even _they_ fight," Nikki said, moving towards the window to check for the two boys.

"We fight all the time... about his stupid hat," I said, cringing at the thought of the thing. "And about how he drives too fast, and about how I'm still better than him at football…"

"Please, Liv. Whenever you fight it's more like the two of you are having a grinning contest, even when it's about the hat." This was probably true.

"Have you _smelled_ his hat lately?!" I asked, shuttering at the thought.

"Nope, I've never actually smelled his hat. I'm pretty sure you and he and the only two people in the world who get that close to his head," Nikki said, rolling her eyes. "Speaking of the devil, here they are now."

"Who's car?" I asked, primping myself for the final time.

"It's the grey Beamer. Do you really think they'd take Kenny's old truck?"

"Nope. Wait, the _grey_ beamer? Not the red beamer?" I said, rushing to the window to look out at the car. "He went all out. That's the good one, his dad's. We went to Denver in it last month and he almost hit that…"

"Elderly woman. You've told me." I frowned as she put on her black pumps and sat down on the bed. "He must really think we're worth it. He could've taken his, it's only a few years older and it's the same damn car."

"Not true, this one is a series 6, he's got a series 3 and it's a 10-year-old car and the suspension…"

"Liv?"

"Yes?"

"You're such a man for knowing that much about your boyfriend's car…. You know, I bet you only know so much about it because you spend so much fucking time parked up in the mountains in it with him." I smiled as I threw a pillow off my bed at her face.

"Shut up! It's not like you're a saint." At the moment I said that, my brother Will appeared in the doorway.

"They're here," he said in an alien-like voice. His voice was changing and I wanted to crack up every time I heard him say… well, anything.

"Thanks, love," Nikki said to the boy, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the staircase.

* * *

**Part one complete! Well, so is part two… but I want to edit it a little (and also don't really want the story to end!). **

**Ah, high school. If you're not there yet, and you don't know what it's like, it's basically Middle School with less zits, a shit load more freedom, and a hell of a lot more stress. I love it though, never a dull moment. **

**Thanks for reading, please review!**


	20. Epilogue Part 2

I approached the top of the staircase and there Kyle was, looking up at me with that goofy grin from bellow, standing in between Kenny and my parents. It's stupid. But, even though we've been going out so long, even though we've known each other longer than some married couples, I still feel the same way I did that day in the hallway six years ago: the nausea, the weak knees, and all… although I've learned to control the vomiting.

"It's the Liv-sta," he said, as I slid down the banister towards him. He caught me for balance at the bottom, and then made sure he got a good look at me.

"Broflovski, fancy meeting you here," I said, twirling around so he could admire the cool swishing noise my dress made.

"Hmm... Decent" He said, grinning. I punched him in the rib cage, but he just grabbed my hand and whispered in my ear. "You look beautiful, Olivia." There, that's better.

"You look good, kid," Kenny said, smiling at Nikki as she descended the stairs.

"I know, and you don't look so bad yourself." He nodded as he reached for her corsage and placed it on her wrist. "It matches mine."

"No shit, Sherlock. Were you about to buy clashing ones?" Nikki said, smiling for one of the thousands of picture our parents had snapped of us in the minute we'd been down stairs.

I looked down to see that my maroon corsage was already on my wrist. It matched Kyle's bow-tie, his own corsage, and my dress, perfectly. Damn. The boy was good.

"How'd you do that?" I said, gazing at my wrist.

"Well, I'm basically James Bond…"

"Except for that hat…" I said, quickly snatching the old green lump from his head. "Look, you combed the jewfro! I'm flattered."

"Yep, I love you that much, babe. Do you know how hard it is for me to comb this thing?!"

"I can imagine," I said, smoothing the auburn curls back off his forehead. He smirked, gazing into my eyes before a few more flashes reminded us that we were probably being photographed staring at one another… oh joy.

At that very moment, another group of kids walked in the door with their parents for photographs.

"Look who it is," Kyle said, patting his best friend on the back. "Stan and Wendy…" He looked at me, nodded, and then, with a smile, I began our routine:

"Oh Stanley! Do you know what tomorrow is?!" I said, flailing my arms around and batting my eyelashes.

"My dearest Wendy, I do not," Kyle replied with exaggerated hand gestures.

"Why my love! Tomorrow is out fifteenth anniversary! At the rate we're going. We might be the first couple in the universe to reach our one-hundredth!" Stan and Wendy frowned in disapproval, but we enjoy our routine so much, I doubt we'll ever stop doing it.

"Is that so?" Kyle asked, grabbing my shoulders and pulling me into a hug. "Oh Wendy! What would I do without a girl to keep me on such a tight leash?"

"Shut the fuck up, Kyle," Stan said, with a half grin (He totally thought it was funny all these years. I know it.). "Your leash is tighter."

"Sista!" Kayley yelled, pulling me away from Kyle and into a hug. She wasn't really dating anyone right now. She'd just broken up with Token a few weeks ago. But, a couple of days ago, Craig asked her to the prom so I guess after all these years she finally got what she wanted when we were 11.

"Kay-kay! Smoking hot date you've got there," I said, gesturing over towards Craig.

"Why, thank you. Your date is… Well, honestly, I still think you could do better than _that_." She practically yelled, making sure her brother could hear her.

"Yeah, yeah. Just remember, every time you make fun of me, you're only indirectly making fun of yourself, twinie" He grinned, patting his sister on the back and grabbing my hand to pull me towards the door. As we were about to head out, we heard a distinctive voice yell:

"You _guys_, you told me this started at _six-thirty_!!!" Well, here he is.

"Cartman," Kyle and I said in unison, looking at the chubby teen before us. In three years of high school, he had successfully started up a Nazi revival movement in South American, strengthened the country's border patrol system two-fold, and banned all minorities from Colorado water parks…God only knows how he managed that last one.

"Heya, Swampy," He said patting me on the back. Kyle rolled his eyes but smiled. He hated my cheerleading nickname, but wasn't about to pick a fight about it, especially with Cartman who had grown into a rather tall, heavy kid.

"Hey Cartman," I said with a smile. I do not support most of the things Cartman does. He is racist and sexist and, frankly, a little scary. But the best thing I ever did was help him. He was actually pretty close to being kicked out of school before I got to him. As head cheerleader, I was in charge of picking someone to be the school mascot, Moo-Moo the cow. I convinced Cartman that it was violent and he'd get to walk around being obnoxious for a few hours each day and not get in trouble for it. He took the job as a last resort before expulsion. Now he loves it. He even wins awards and stuff for his work. Who knew I'd end up saving Eric Cartman?

"You guys heading out already?" He asked, straightening his bow-tie. Suddenly, Alice Lufkin hugged him from behind, looking sweeter and more innocent than ever. It was on and off, but those two had a long term thing going on. She kept him from getting into too much trouble, and we all deeply appreciated her for it. I guess opposites really do attract.

"Yeah, well, I'm sort of taking her somewhere first…" Kyle said, scratching at his newly-freed, wild hair.

"Wait, where are we going?" I asked turning to face him, but he wouldn't meet my eyes. He knows I read him like a book.

"Mmm…Look's like you ruined the surprise, Carty," Alice said, giving Cartman a very insincere glare.

"My bad, man," He said, patting Kyle on the back. "Well, have fun I guess." With that, the couple walked further into the house towards the rest of our friends.

"No seriously, Kyle. Where are we going?" I asked as he pulled me out the door.

"You'll see. Patience is the only virtue you lack."

"Don't you try to butter me up… Hey, what about Kenny and Nikki?" Kyle rolled his eyes as we approached the silver BMW.

"Stan will drive them over. Don't worry about it, Liv." He smiled at me as I climbed into the passenger's seat.

* * *

** Part two is complete! Part three's my favorite by far, but I'm biased so… :) **

** Last update is coming soonish. It makes me sad that it's the end. :( **

**But, at the same time, I can't wait to start something new! Maybe I can keep these guys in high school and continue with something like South Park senior year (combining the stuff I'm going through right now with the South Park kids). Would you guys like that...? should I start something totally new?**

** Thanks for reading, please review! **


	21. Epilogue Part 3

"You would take me here," I said, grinning from ear to ear as he parked the car. "You're such a girl, Kyle—very nostalgic, very sappy."

"_Most_ girlfriends would find this romantic," He said, as we approached the old basketball court. "But I'm stuck with you so… that sucks for me."

"You know you love me," I said, grabbing onto his arm.

"Yep, I realized that about five or six years ago." Suddenly, he broke off from me, twirling the basketball on his fingertip. "Ah? Can Olivia Marsh handle this awesomeness?!"

"Sorry Kyle, I'm pretty sure I'm the athlete in this relationship so…"

"Ah! But alas! You have always been rather shitty at basketball!" Kyle ran towards the hoop, effortlessly jumping up and throwing the ball in. "Swish!"

"Can you not say that for once when you make a basket!? It's sooo nerdy!" I rolled my eyes, but smiled. It was ok the first 300 times, but it gets a little old eventually.

"Be nice to me! I got you that nice corsage, convinced my dad to give me the good car, AND brought you to the sight of our first date." He ran towards me, dribbling the ball in between his legs, still trying to impress me.

"I believe at the time you said it wasn't a date, we weren't in a relationship, and you weren't into labels." I replied, as he threw the ball into the hoop yet again.

"Swish!" He whispered. Then he turned to me: "Yeah, that was complete bullshit, we were in a relationship the second I kissed you on that ice."

"This is true." I said, raising an eyebrow at him as he ran after the ball. "There's no ice in May though."

"No sliding for us!" He replied throwing the ball in my general direction. I didn't catch it. "Yep, you're the athlete alright."

I smiled as I got a running start before doing three consecutive round offs, landing right by his side. "Go Cows!" I yelled into his ear.

"Don't show off, Swampy the soulless cheerleader. You'll rip your dress," Kyle said, examining my dress for rips… I swear to God, that boy thinks he's the girl in this relationship.

"You wish you were as cool as me."

"Yep, because student body president and varsity basketball player just isn't cutting it for me anymore." I smiled as he attempted a cartwheel. "No, no! I want to be a cheerleader!"

"You're insanely embarrassing," I mumbled pulling him up off the pavement. He lifted me up and spun me around. "Kyle ahhh! Now _you're_ going to rip my dress!"

"That's what you get for saying I was embarrassing," He yelled, putting me back down on the ground. I put my arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a kiss.

"You know, we could just hang out in the car tonight. Who needs the stupid prom…" I smacked him on the side of the head.

"You get enough love from me. Besides, do you remember the last time your mom caught us just 'hanging out' in your car?"

"I'd rather not be reminded of that…"

"You've taken my sweet bubby's innocence! How can you live with yourself? Gerald!!! Where are you, Gerald!!!?" I do a pretty mean imitation of his mom if you ask me. Kyle covered his face with his hands.

"My mom's very protective of me," He replied, a little red in the face.

"Aw, come on, bubby. You can't possibly be embarrassed about that! If I was going to dump you, I would've done it years ago."

"Please, don't call me bubby." He replied, a tad of embarrassment lingering in his expression.

"Can I call you muffin?" I asked.

"You can call me stud-muffin…"

"No, thanks." He feigned a frown as I ran over to grab the basketball he had left in the corner of the court. "Oh please, you're a mega hottie blah, blah, blah. I just stroked your stupid ego, you happy?

"Now I am. Come on, let's go to prom. It's getting late." He put his arm around me as we walked back to the car.

"Livy?"

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Any regrets?" I turned to him and kissed him on the cheek. He continued: "I mean, we've been exclusive since the Stone Age… do you feel like you missed out?" I turned to him, looked him straight in the eye, and replied honestly:

"No regrets. I'm 99% sure we were made for each other." He kissed me again, and smiled.

"Yep the girly-boy with the ugly hat and the boyish-girl cheerleader—couldn't get a better match than that."

"Damn straight."

* * *

**And that's the End! **

**I'd like to thank anyone who has made it to the end of this story. You rock for reading.**

**I would also like to thank my loyal reviewers especially Nikki-Fox, oddsoul, Yumi loves the darkness, ****PiScEs-BlOsSoM69, and Kootie Bomb—it means a lot to me that you guys reviewed nearly every single chapter! Thank You!!!**

**So, what'd you think? Good? Bad? What was the best part? I want to know what worked so I know how to go about my next story (I'm most likely going with the senior year thing…maybe I'll write something new too). Do you want your OC in the next one? Just tell me and I'll make it happen. **

**Again, thank you so much for reading! It means a lot to me that people actually take the time to read my scribbles (they're the best way in the world to forget about my problems, you know?) **

**I'll be beginning the next story shortly! Hope you check it out! **

**Love, Jackie **


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